Chistoretes.com

Improper language memo

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

TO: ALL MEXICAN STAFF, US Embassy, Mexico City

SUBJECT: IMPROPER LANGUAGE USAGE IN BINATIONAL ENDEAVOURS

It has been brought to our attention by several officials, that
improper language is commonly used by Mexican staff. Such behavior, in
addition to violating NAFTA's spirit, is regarded as highly
unprofessional and offensive.

Therefore, it is the conviction of the American Administration that
everyone concerned should immediately adhere to the following rules:

1.- Words like carajo, chingada and other such expressions, will not
be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion might be.

2.- You will not say pendejo or la cagas, when somebody is being
reprimanded, or que pendejada or que mamadas son estas when a major
mistake or conflict has risen. All forms derived of the verbs
pendejear, mamar or cagar are unsuitable in our environment, for they
lead to further confusion and potential disagreement.

3.- No project manager, section head administrator or least
Ambassador, under any circumstances will be referred to as hijo de su
chingada madre, hijo de puta, cabron or ojete.

4.- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevos,
pinche puto or maricon, nor will persons with lack of initiative be
referred as culero or pendejo.

5.- Unusual creative or original ideas should not be referred to as
pinches jaladas.

6.- Do not say como chinga or jode if a person is persistent, or esta
jodido if a colleague is going through a difficult situation, or his
or her country's position is untenable or ill-conceived. Furthermore,
you must not say que chinga when matters turn complicated.

7.- When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say vete a la
chingada or vete al carajo, do not ever substitute "May I Help You"
with que chingados quieres. When things get tough and unacceptable, an
expression such as "We are going through a difficult time" should be
used rather than, esto esta de la chingada.

8.- A stalemate in negotiations should never be referred to as esto ya
mamo.

9.- If you make a mistake just say so, and not say ya la cague or ya
me llevo la chingada when your authorities get to know about your
mistakes.

10.- Under no circumstance should you call our elderly directive
partners as rucos ojetes.

11.- When in a hurry, never use expressions such as andale cabron or
orale putos.

12.- The expression te la pelas should not be used to discourage
someone.

13.- Nos la pelaron los pinches gringos should not be used to convey
the idea of victory in a negotiation.

14.- Body language like the one used by Roque Villanueva is
prohibited.

15.- When a problem is not your responsibility, you must not say no es
mi pedo, for there is not an accurate translation of the expression in
our language.

16.- Last but not least, after reading this note please do not say me
voy a limpiar el culo con esto, just keep it clean and dispose of it
properly.

In God We Trust.
March, 1999.
  
(anónimo)
¿Cómo te pareció este chiste?
Estupendo
Bueno
Normal
Malo
Pésimo

©2003 Chistoretes.com, Todos los Derechos Reservados